YOUR GUIDE TO WEDDING PLANNING
A FREE RESOURCE BY JAMIE DELAINE
May 21, 2014 In life, photography

You Are My Home

Honolulu Honeymoon

Six weeks ago, we flew home from our honeymoon in Honolulu. After the six hour flight and the hour drive home from the airport we threw our suitcases into the corner and crashed in bed. It was well after midnight and we were exhausted. As we lay there in the dark, I thought, This is now our home. Not Randy’s, not mine, but ours. It was my first night there (“at Randy’s place”) and suddenly I was overwhelmed with emotion. This was my home (as a literal fact) but in my heart, it felt far from being my home. My home has never been here. My whole life, I had traveled the world only to return to my room. A room dismantled, a room no longer. Everything felt unknown.

With an emotion I couldn’t name or understand, I started to cry. When Randy heard my tears he turned to hold me. I cried as he held me tight, praying for me, and eventually, drifted off to sleep. It felt like a silly thing. To be so happy, content, loved but still experiencing the emotions of change. Change isn’t easy and I’m learning, this is normal. And it is very much okay to feel things.

It’s been seven weeks of marriage and six weeks of routine at home. Every day gets better. We learn more every day. We love more every day. We learn (Okay, I learn–Let’s be honest) more patience every day. We trust one another more every day. We need one another more every day. It’s the best journey I have ever lived. I am an overflowing bucket of tears what feels like constantly. It’s comical. Tears come when I’m thankful, grateful, hugging Randy after work, looking into his eyes, reading a book, watching baby whales on TV. I tell Randy falling in love with him “broke me.”

I know what it is to love someone more than I ever thought possible and perhaps feeling that depth of emotion has unlocked a dam of tears held back for years.

“Randy, two months ago, I was laying in this very bed with you. I was sad. And you held me while I cried.
But now,” I said as I kissed his shoulder, the tears welling up in my eyes, “You are my home.”

He squeezed my hand. “And you’ve been mine for quite some time.”


The evening view from our Ilikai condo balcony.

Before dinner self-timer portraits.

A morning view.

The best dang tacos in Waikiki.

A secret little spot called “The Spitting Caves.”

A drive one day to Lanikai Beach.

The image above this and below are on the drive to Laie.

Below, four photos from the Whale Watching and Snorkeling trip we did on a catamaran with only eight other passengers in Waianae.

Thanks for reading this little space of mine. It honestly means so much. I love writing and I love sharing and it’s nice to have people who care to read and comment. Thank you.

 

  • Sophia

    Jamie!! Oh my goodness! I TOO cried on my first night in our apartment after we got married! And the week after we got married I remember we saw a baby bear and I was telling Jamie the true story of Winnie the Pooh and I cried! Haha! I’m so glad I’m not alone :) Loved this post!

  • :D

  • These pictures are gorgeous! Congratulations to you and Randy! I’ve been following your blog for quite a while now and was happy to see when the wedding photographer was to be a bride herself. :) I have my own little photography business and hope it will one day grow into my full-time job (I’m 17 now). You were one of the first photographers I discovered online around the time I began to show an interest in photography and you have been such an inspiration to me since. I’m so happy for you and this new life of yours. I pray God will bless your marriage! Congratulations again and thank you for being such an inspiration.

    Haley :)

  • Hannah

    I’ve so loved reading your wedding and now marriage journey. Going through an engagement myself right now I can relate to your posts. Love y’all’s story so much.

  • I remember those first weeks of marriage so well. I, too, shed many tears! I still do, but now it’s more out of that deep love, like you mentioned. The “i can’t believe this is my life and I GET TO LIVE IT with YOU!!” moments. And wait till you have kids… the dams burst even more!! :)

  • Cosmin always tells me I’m too emotional. But still, really… oh Jamie… this brought tears to my eyes. (And the photos brought a smile to my lips! Obviously!) I know that’s pretty much how I’ll feel once I get married. And while I’m excited for it and know I’ll be very happy and at peace, I’m dreading it in a way. So good to find out that I’m not the only one [thinking that I will be] going through this. Thanks for sharing your heart and life with us. Love you! And that husband of yours? He’s awesome.

  • :)

    It’s impossible to believe, but it keeps getting better! :) I promise. And wait until you have a little one …. think it’s amazing and can’t imagine loving more now? Well, we’ll talk once you have crossed that bridge, because it’s unreal!

    Enjoy the ride. Savor the journey.

    :)

  • I love this post + reading about your beautiful life’s together.
    So sweet to see God-honoring marriages. :)

  • Ang

    I loved reading this post, Jamie. As always, you are so genuine and honest in your writing, and it always comes through and connects with the reader (or at least with me, anyways!). Thanks for sharing your heart with all of us, it’s refreshing to read and always so beautifully worded…plus, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who was a mess of tears after getting married! :)

  • Ang

    p.s. love the photos – I’m always a little nervous to use my “fancy” camera on vacation…especially now that I’m keeping track of two two year olds, but seeing your beautiful images makes me want to brave pulling it out more often. :)

  • i loved this post. i even had to read it twice. you guys are amazing, and it’s been so wonderful to hear yours and randy’s story here on your blog!

    also – you seem to be really adventuring in cooking! it would be awesome if some of those recipes migrated over here too ;)

  • This is so sweet!

    We actually just returned from Waikiki on Monday…stayed across the street from the Ilikai, so this was very fun to see your pictures! I am working on editing my nearly-900 pictures :)

  • Allie

    I have been reading your blog for a long time and this is one of my favorite posts! So incredibly sweet!! <3

  • Beautiful! Thank you for sharing your journey with us!

  • Loved your pictures and captions as always. Loved your wedding. Love your husband. Love the passion in you. Bless you Jamie and Randy – may your future be bright and full of all the promises of God and His plans for you! <3

  • Shanna

    So incredibly sweet. Congratulations, Jamie. Marriage is wonderful!!

  • JANNNN

    we can cry and watch baby whales together now! this was one of my favorite of your blogs so far.

  • Congrats Jamie!!! Your wedding was stunning and I’m so excited for you and this new life adventure! God is SO faithful!!!! We JUST vacationed in Oahu and now I’m officially obsessed! :) Loved this post!!

  • Katie

    Oh gosh Jamie this made ME CRY TOO. It was his reaction. “you’ve been mine for quite some time”
    I love that even through all your emotional girlyness he still loves you unconditionally. He isn’t phased. He knows to hold you and pray for you. Thank God for gentlemen like Randy.