little known fact about my writing process. i always start in the text-edit application, never on my blog portal. the reason for this is that when i start writing, i often do not know if what i am about to write is for me or for the world. i am pretty sure, by how i started this piece, that this will end up on the blog because after all, this little known fact about my writing process is very well-known to me. so i must be writing to you.

it’s our last full day in london today. we have spent it very leisurely thus far; it is almost one o’ clock in the afternoon and i am sitting in starbucks, a three minute walk away from our hotel. jet-lag [and perhaps caffeine? it's a brutal combination] kept mom awake until one; myself awake until two. we are anti-alarm clock when we travel and we rolled out of bed at half-past ten. our internet is shoddy at the hotel, hence the trip to starbucks–i’ve been here answering a couple of emails, updating my workshop website with the words “sold out” [that's exciting!] and uploading a few of our photos to facebook.

kristen arrives tomorrow morning at heathrow, we train to edinburgh in the afternoon. i have loved our time in london since wednesday–and i do not want any part of this to come across as ungrateful, but i am very much over it. this is a very big city. we have walked a ton, seen everything we want to see. everywhere we go there are endless streams of people. i think the city, the traffic, the noise, the crowded tube… is slowly suffocating my soul. ;) i need space to think without massive department stores and money being spent constantly [that in all honesty, most people probably do not have--i am learning that many, many people live beyond their means.] i don’t drink alcohol and i am trying not to shop [although i scored two very comfortable men's t-shirts at topshop]–so i’m out of ideas for what to do.

i find the city difficult. i feel bombarded with media and shopping and looking trendy and eating at all the right places. false promises of life, happiness, joy, security. i love clothes and style and trends and funky coffee shops. it’s fun to buy something new. i have a closet full of beautiful clothes. but it isn’t everything. and the more i am around consumerism, the more i feel swallowed. on the tube, people lean their heads back, their eyes closed, shopping bags on their laps. they are tired, worn out, trying to keep up. why? i want to live simple. i want to live within my means. i want to question what it is that brings life, joy, happiness, security and run after that. to be secure in my purpose and my calling means that i can then be free to enjoy things like great coffee, cute clothes, wonderful trips. but i never want to value this as everything.

my bible was life to me when i read this in Romans 8:5-6: those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. the mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.– i want to continually exhale selfish thoughts and inhale what God would have for me, life and peace. and sometimes i forget to breathe.

here are a few more photos from london. scotland tomorrow! i’m a quarter scottish. can i call it my homeland? ;)

for our first two nights in london, we have been staying at a hotel right near heathrow. it takes an hour to tube into the city, which means we leave in the morning and get back late at night: no breaks to change our clothes,  grab a different pair of shoes, rest for a minute or grab a jacket. nothing. that means i’ve been packing a backpack. with a leather jacket for when it gets cold, with my 5d mark 2 and an extra lens, with my iphone and headphones for the tube, with a sudoku book and a pen [for the tube, again] and my wallet and glasses. it’s a lot of stuff. i have to stifle my pride when i am in the city: there are way too many stylish women walking around in beautiful shoes and gorgeous bags. i want to be them. i, however, decided to wear nikes yesterday. yes, with my skinny jeans and my backpack. it was a really hot look.

i had this great plan to not photograph myself below the ankles. my mother, however, loves her iphone and any sign that screams FREE WI-FI HERE. this means that the whole world receives play-by-play updates of where we are and what we are wearing via twitter and facebook. i failed to mention this no-below-ankle-photography rule. all her facebook friends [and consequently mine, through the glory of "tagged photos"] are now able to enjoy some snapshots of my bright white runners. she says, you’re welcome. i say, thanks for nothing, lois.

yesterday’s highlights included watching this cute little man attempting to sprint up an escalator that was moving down… everybody at the bottom stood and watched him as he attempted to push past everybody coming down. he had a really heavy duffel bag as well. he tried for a good sixty seconds. then gave up and walked onto the tube and sat down. okay. another highlight. the tube home after sunset last night, a girl was blasting avril lavigne on her ipod so the entire train could hear. [i left canada to get away from avril for a few weeks and you bring her to me!?] the best part was that she was singing a song with terrible lyrics. she muttered under her british breath, you know that i’m a crazy bitch, i do what i want when i feel like it.

here’s a tip. maybe you should stop doing what you want when you feel like it. might make you a little more popular with the london commuters.